This is a question that I asked myself time and time again…in some cases, which was my case…I was raised in a single parent household, by a single mother. My father was not present in my life, so I didn’t have him as an example. My grandfather was in my life and I learned a lot from him, but as an older man who had raised his children, most of the things I learned from him were things that a man does to provide and take care of family. Not how to raise children.
There are tons of things out there for women, because any woman, or I will say the majority of women, have no choice but to be a mother after they have a child. But in this day, not all men step up to the plate to fulfill their role, which in turn leaves a TON of pressure on the mother, but that is another story for another day.
So, back in 2009 I found myself asking the same question. Because, as a father, as a man that wants to take care of his kids and raise them, I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t make any mistakes and that I would be the perfect father even though I’m not perfect…
So, here is what I have done that has helped me.
1) I asked God to guide me, first and foremost. Asked Him to help me and show me how to be a father. And guess what…He will do it! This is vital because not every child will be the same and God has a purpose for them, so He may give you direction that aids their purpose. So listen carefully, pray and watch!
2) Never be afraid or too prideful to ask other men who have been fathers longer than you have for advice. Or just ask them questions if you believe they are doing a great job. Could be a brother, step father, cousin, Pastor, friend, neighbor or any many you see as setting a good example.
3) Learn from others mistakes as well. What not to do.
4) We hear about motherly instincts all the time….Guess what, Fathers have natural instincts too! Bet you didn’t know that one lol. A mother’s role is different from a father’s role. There are somethings you both will do, but you both also play a separate roll. For example, a father’s instinct is to protect while a mother’s instinct is to nurture. The same way we see it animals, it exists with in ourselves as well. So, let the Fatherly instincts lead as well.
5) You are gonna get somethings right and some wrong…just remember its ok…that is how we learn best! So be encouraged. And feel free to ask me any questions.
Best wishes to you as a father!! Lets raise these kids right!
Here are a few picks of me in my first moments with my two kids.